Closure.

For a good portion of this year, I felt myself being regretful and ashamed of the way I’ve been because of one person. Knowing that it was already over from the start has made me understand that NOTHING lasts forever. What I had in the past was miraculous, it made me realize that maybe I was believing in something that didn’t deserve the credit it needed. It only allowed me to open my eyes to a bright future I see ahead.

Rest In Peace Grandpa Angel

July 13th, 2016.. 12:55PM.

I’m in disbelief. It doesn’t feel real to me. I know he’s still here. I just want to go back in time and do everything I can to be there for my family. It’s hard to hold back these tears. I love you grandpa. Rest in Peace. ❤😇

Déjà Vu

How can this happen so often? About 3 times yesterday. I feel like I’ve been on this path before. It’s not strange to me. I have a lot on my plate, but at the same time, it’s nothing I cannot handle. I’m able to learn from my previous experiences. I can witness what’s most important to me. I only hope that I can do the best to my ability in everything I do. It’s time to connect again.

Fearless

Having Chik-Fil-A reminds me of you honey. It feels like just yesterday we were grabbing our nightly outing of food. And the one night your car decided not to work. I remember you were losing patience, but with no fret I was able to restart your car for you so that we could make it home. You were so relieved and happy! 😊 Another time, we tried different sauces other than Chik-Fil-A’s.. ventured to grab Polynesian and we both loved it!

Anyway, honey, I still think of you daily. I haven’t forgotten about you. You are on my mind at every turn. I wish I was able to see you again. I feel like you’re here on this planet, just somewhere I haven’t looked yet.

Whether it’s a motorcycle, a song, a restaurant, a saying, you are at the brink of my mind. I’m realizing how much I appreciate you more now that you’re gone. I admire your fearlessness. It wasn’t being cocky, it was being able to carry yourself the way you did. Everyone remembered you for the confidence you had. Even with a broken leg, you still kept on going–that didn’t break your spirit whatsoever. I admire your courage to see past those who despised you. No one could break you. You are fearless.

I wish I could tell you these things now. I wish I could experience you again for one more time. If I could have a day with you, I’d be forever happy. But I know I’ll never see you on this planet again. I have to accept it. I have to let go..

You Have To Start Somewhere

Today was a battle to get up. Only because physically I felt so comfortable.. such to the point that I wish I could sleep for a straight week and hibernate. On the other hand, my mind is telling me, “Don’t give up. You can’t afford time spent doing nothing.” This is the battle I am dealing with on a daily basis. Today I found inspiration through an instant connection. Someone who reminded me of a close friend, but also was very easy to talk to in terms of having similar personalities. I don’t find striking a conversation to be painful, but it becomes strange when one tries too hard. I try to be myself in most situations, but to have a conversation that naturally flows are the best. Met someone today who I felt gratification knowing that I still have a long way to go before I settle. Her light-hearted soul gave me confidence that I can be whatever I choose to be, as long as I apply myself. What a coincidence our worlds collide at the very front door of my newest job opportunity.

For now, the thoughts ran deeply but I have quickly lost the momentum as I stare at the digital hands of my clocks tick down to the last day of job training far away from my current temporary home. I enjoyed today–regardless of the negativity in the air.

Tomorrow is a brand new day, I cannot wait to see what is in store for me. 🙂