Why Are You So Far Away?

..Is what you asked me before we would fall sleep.

Even when you wrapped your arms around me, clutching onto me tightly, with our noses touching and feeling each other breathe with laughter you’d retort, “Honey, why are you so far away?”

I would reply, “What do you mean?” As if I didn’t understand you meant something deeper than mere physical closeness–it was the bond we shared, a love that was embraced at that very moment. This isn’t just mere coincidence. You constantly reminded me that it was just you and me.

As I lay in bed now, I find myself asking, “Why are you so far away?” I miss your silly demeanor. I miss you holding me tightly with my face in your chest. I want to be that close to you again. To be able to hear your heart beat in your chest. Your soft slumber made me at peace. When you would awake disturbed, I panicked. I wondered why I couldn’t provide the peacefulness you did for me.

I try to imagine you sleeping right next to me. We were lovers. The universe felt our love and began to quake through our bones and to the ground. Everything living knew we existed, together as one.

With these tears of reminiscing our blissful youth, I feel that you’re still here beside me. Every night, I shut my eyes and you’re right here.

Because even after the world ends, nothing can take away what we had. You are now in an internal slumber, and someday, I will rest right next to you again.